Offshore Wifes Life » Blog Archive » It’s feels like highschool again

Yesterday I was invited to join the weekly coffee social that takes place here. This morning we got dressed and walked down to the coffee house. I have never felt like such an outsider as I did this morning. We walked in an no one spoke to us. I tried several times to say hello to some of the ladies to no avail. It was very clear to me that I was not welcome. Groups of women were scattered about the room forming their own little circles. It was obvious to a newbie, like me, that cliques had been formed and I was an outcast. I’m not one to say in a place where I feel unwelcome. I gathered up our things and took Makinlee to the playground. While there a group of Korean children arrived to play as well. As I watched my child try to communicate with these children sadness came over me. Sad because she too felt like an outsider. Even though the language of play is the same everywhere I could tell she was confused when they spoke back to her. One little girl kept pulling at Makinlee’s hair and another little boy kept yelling in her face. Were they playing? I have no idea but I was not comfortable with it. I think yelling in someone’s face is rude anywhere. Our first day out into the community didn’t go well. I’m very sad and disappointed. I had preconceived ideas that the expat community was friendlier. I am not giving up but it sure makes it hard to press on and find some friends. Hopefully when Makinlee starts play school next week I will meet some cool moms. Today has me second guessing our decision to move here. I hope things become easier if not it’s going to be a long four years.

Hi Nicole. I hope things get better. I wish I could be there to translate what those kids were saying to Makinlee.

Hello Nicole,
just to introduce me: My name is Thea and I came across your website while googling for Okpo blogs - I left Korea in May 2006 and still kind of miss it.
I’m sorry to hear about your coffee-morning experience.
But I`m sure it’s going to be much better as soon as your daughter starts playschool - everyone used to be very wellcoming to newcomers at school (at OIS though, in our case).
I wish you all the best
Thea

Thea-Maybe it was just me? I may try it again next week while Makinlee is in play school. It just seemed as if no one was interested in welcoming someone new into their group.

Anne-I sure wish you were here for sure. That would be totally cool. My owe private translator and friend!!

Oh, sweet Nicole. {{{{hugs}}}}

Remember it is just the beginning. I moved to WI when I was 7 months pregnant and didn’t know a soul. I felt quite isolated. Now it is over 2.5 years later, and I have a great group of lady friends, including the best friend I have ever had. Try your best to hang in there and give it time